Pouring with rain. 8 O'clock in the morning and standing at East Ham on the westbound getting drownded. After a couple of minutes the starter clears and I close the doors and give the bell. Train starts to move and I slam the Guards door glad to get out of the wet. Good job I had my cap and tent on as it kept most of me dry. However the car floor is awash and good few passengers near the doors were looking like wet washing. We don't get far however as the train stops at the advanced starter and stands for another 3 minutes or so. Onward we go and stop at Upton Park homes. A passenger asks me 'What's gone wrong mate' and I have to tell him I am as much in the dark as he is. Another five minutes and then into Upton Park platform. The BR stationman is standing there and informs me it's gonna be a long hike today as there is a flood in the tunnel at Mile End. This information elicits moans groans and curses from the on-board sardines and the comment thet 'they could have told us at Barking, then we could have gone in on the fast' This being a reference to the LTSR trains that were whizzing merrily past us toward London at 70 mph in 2 minute intervals. 12 car trains and packed to the nines as usual. Anyway after another couple of minutes we get a green to proceed. Another little hop to the advance and another dead stop. By now the trapped populace is getting restless and starts having a go at me. I tell them that I am in the same boat as they are and if I could help I would.
So with more little hops skips and jumps we get to Plaistow there to be told by the staff that controller wants us to tip out and go back east as he can't get any movement on the westbound. This causes uproar as the train previous to us had also be emptied and sent back and the platform was black with people. However we get them all out and with a good few deciding to head for Stratford by bus [if they can get on one] our train goes as far as West Ham homes and my mate shuts down and we change ends. After about 10 minutes my mate gives me a shout on the train phone to say that the train in the eastbound at Plaistow is dud and we are gonna be put in the bay road. So into the bay we go. In the west end cab I put up 'empty' marker lights with no destination plate as I don't know where we are going to when we do move out again.
I change ends again and find my mate is missing. He is not far away however as he is assisting the driver of the dud train and his Guard to set-up for a push out. By now there are trains all over the place and all at a standstill. The dud train moves off with the Guard driving from the rear. Me and my mate make a can of tea courtesy of the station staff as we don't know how long we are going to be in the bay. About 9 trains pass by going east in quick succession with only 2 going west. Both of which are absolutely solid with people. Then the station staff tell us the controller wants us to leave the bay and go west empty picking up at West Ham to take some of the crowd away from there. [There were no c2c platforms then]
Out of the bay we go and sure enough the place is buzzing and they all pile in glad to have a seat and train to ride on. To our surprise it's green signals all the way to Bromley by Bow so we bang on a bit more cheerfully. Another load of folk squeeze in at Bromley and I close the doors and miraculously get a pilot light and give the bell. The happiness is not long lasting though as we get to the advance and STOP. The rain has now left off but it's still very damp. After about fifteen minutes me and the passengers are scared shitless when there is a rapid tapping on my Guards door. Upon opening it who should be standing on the track but my driver! 'Ain't you heard me shouting on the phone?' he says. I tell him I have not. 'Well the driver on that last eastbound [trains have been passing east while we stood] told me we gotta reverse agian into Bromley. With that he marches off to the cab at the east end. Now we have a strange phenominon in that the signal we stopped at is now green and the shunt signal we have to take to reverse is also clear. It's not often you have clear signals at both ends of a train is it? So back into Bromley we go and some very annoyed people get off and troop over to the westbound platform. Off we go back east again until we get to the homes for Plaistow where are given the signal for...THE BAY. 'Oh what the f*ck is going on here? exclaimes my mate. [I have stayed at the east end of the train as I don't know what is going to happen] He gets down on the phone and gets back up and we once more enter the bay road.
Now we are in the bay we can only go west again so we just wait. My mate now needs a physical and disappears to have one. No sooner has he gone than I hear the points go over and the bay road starter clears. I gallop up to the phone and call the signalman who yells at me we are to put up Earls Court and get out of the bay as the controller has a train standing at the eastbound homes to enter the bay. I then [with much glee] tell him he will have to wait until my driver has finished his PNR. I am told to hang on and he patches me through to the controller who rants at me that I am holding the road up both ways and why have we not left the bay? I tell him I have no driver as he has gone for a crap and is not back yet. What follows was the worst tirade of swearing and rage I ever heard from a controller. He rounded it of with 'well you can f*ckingwell stay there then' followed by instructions to the signalman to get a release and get things moving again.
So me and my mate sit in the bay [he returned the instant I put the phone down] smoking and watching as trains pass both east and west. [the westbound ones very eratically.] After half an hour or so the stationwoman comes up and says to get ready as we are leaving in about 5 minutes. We duly take our action stations [no pun] and sure enough out we go. The queue of trains is as bad as ever but we run passenger and pick up a crush load. It takes about half an hour to reach Mile End and we are finally told the cause of all the kerfuffle. A sewer above the tunnel has burst between ME and Stepney Green and all doors and windows are to stay closed until SG is reached. This is relayed to ALL the passengers on the train so that they know if they DO open a window that only have themselves to blame for any subsequent ailments. We are told that station-to-station working is in force from Mile End To Stepney Green but the driver is instructed to not exceed 15mph until we get to Stepney.
So at a a funereal pace we set off. As we pass the pump house under the canal the most disgusting stench you can imagine assails our nostrils which makes some people heave. Then a little way further on we pass a veritable waterfall of shit and sewage like a brown curtain all over the train. This is too much for some folk and they add to the stench by depositing their breakfast over the car floor. On reaching Stepney it is obvious this is not the first occurence of such a happening as station staff with buckets of sand are at the ready. The train has a new livery too. Shit brown to be precise and you can't see out of the windows. Anyway not many get out and we proceed to Whitechapel where, thank the Lord, it is absolutely bucketing down and the train gets a good wash. We are told once again to tip out and go east which we do all the way to Upminster Depot.
The total time it took to go from Barking to Whitechapel was over 3 hours. BUT WASN'T IT FUN!!